I have so enjoyed each and every moment and milestone of Staley's almost 15 months. I can't be sad about her growing and changing because I'm so amazed at the little person she is becoming. I loved newborn Staley and I loved baby Staley and I love my little toddler Staley. Each phase brings so much new joy and excitement as I watch Staley's world grow and expand that I can't feel sadness...until this week.
I can honestly say that I felt my first true twinge of Staley-growing-up sadness this week. Staley is done nursing. And that has been hard for me. She has been losing interest over the past month or two, but I continued on--mostly for my own sake. She never fought it or refused to nurse, but talking or looking around or becoming distracted by the cats/Zach/the ceiling fan/random noises began to take precedence over the nursing. I gave up night nursing last month because she REALLY wasn't interested with a full belly of dinner, but I'd kept her morning nursing time because I just loved starting our day off together in that peaceful, bonding moment.
Staley hasn't missed it at all. She doesn't ask for morning milk or seem at all concerned that our nursing time together is over. But I miss it. I do. I miss the closeness. I miss our quiet morning moments. I miss looking down on my baby as she looks back up at me. I miss our special time that she couldn't share with anyone else. And I'm sad. I won't dwell on it, but I need a moment to be sad. Just a moment to think back about how much has changed in the past 15 months and how quickly it has gone. And then I'll move on so that I can fully enjoy our moments together tomorrow and the next day and the next, because the next 15 months are going to fly by just as quickly...and I don't want to waste any of that precious time being sad.