When I was younger, I was adventurous and spontaneous. I was a world-class procrastinator, working best under the pressure of a deadline. My room was a disaster. I was always up for anything, anytime. I didn't believe in budgeting (which didn't always work out for me). I didn't understand those Type A personalities around me. Where was the fun in schedules and planning and organizing and alphabetizing and working ahead? Life on the fly was the way I liked it.
Somewhere along the way, however, my mindset started to shift. Maybe it was when I got married or got a house or started a real job. Maybe it was closer to the time that we wanted to start a family. It wasn't a sudden change, thus taking me awhile to realize it was even happening. And now I look at myself, realizing that I'm the Type A fuddy-duddy that my younger self would shake her head at.
The current me likes order. I need my calendars and my lists. Everything in my home has a place, and when piles start to form, I need to sort them and put them away. I can't leave dishes in the sink. I find real pleasure in cleaning out closets. Organizing makes me feel happy. I am now a firm believer in schedules, in planning ahead, in shopping in advance. And I've found that when chaos or clutter starts to form in my life, it causes me anxiety. When things aren't done in a certain way or in a certain time, I worry. And anxiety and worry make me lose some of the joy in the every day.
And so my new mantra is to 'let it go.' Dishes in the sink? They can wait. Poop in the naptime pull-up? Nothing to get frustrated about. Late bedtime? The girls can handle it every now and then. Missing a nap? Not the end of the world. Sweets? Melt downs? Clutter? Chaos? That's part of life with children. And if I'm going to enjoy these fleeting moments as my children grow up so fast, sometimes I'm going to need to put down the list, throw out the schedule, and just let it go.