I love my girls. I love being their mom. I love getting to spend days at home with them. But let's be honest. Some days, being a mom is hard. And being the mom that you really want to be? Well, that's even harder.
Does it make me a bad mom that, when Adelie woke up this morning at 6:30, I just turned on a Micky Mouse Clubhouse episode for her because I didn't have the energy to play?
Does it make me a bad mom that I could hear Staley and Adelie calling my name while I was in the shower this morning and I didn't answer? (No one was crying, so I figured it wasn't an emergency.)
Does it make me a bad mom that I told Staley that she couldn't tell me another made-up story about her imaginary friends until she told me about something that really happened?
Does it make me a bad mom that I broke a small plastic clip off Adelie's carseat cover because I was so frustrated trying to get it off the seat that, instead of taking the time to un-install the carseat, I just snapped it off?
Does it make me a bad mom that the reason I had to remove the carseat cover in the first place is because I waited too long to change Adelie's diaper and she leaked all over her carseat?
Does it make me a bad mom that I sighed loudly, told Staley how frustrated I was, and refused to listen to Staley's excuses when I asked her to get dressed while I was in the shower and she was doing somersaults in her PJs when I got out? And again when it took her 5 minutes to walk up the stairs for rest time because she got distracted by the mirror and then was just lying down on one of the steps saying she was "stuck?"
Does it make me a bad mom that, in exasperation, I slammed Adelie's cup loudly onto the table after she threw it on the floor at lunch again today?
Does it make me a bad mom that all I want right now for is my girls to take an extra long nap/rest time?
There are some days that I feel like I'm doing something right. But there are other days when my patience, my energy level, my focus just don't match up to the needs of my girls. I want to be fun and present, patient and kind, calm and collected. But on some days, like today, I'm just not the mom I want to be.