Then and Now

There are times that I longingly think back to the days when the kids were younger.  There are moments that I yearn to snuggle a sleeping baby in my arms again.  There are (many) days that I wish we didn't have to set an alarm to get up for school each morning.  Sometimes I look at our calendar of activities and think fondly about our early days where church and library story hour were the only things on our calendar each week.  There was something so simple about days at home with no school, no schedule, no activities, no homework.

While I bask in the rosy glow of the memories of our schedule free existence, however, I am also vividly able to remember the endless needs and supervision required of those younger kids.  The tears.  The drama.  Rarely getting to use the bathroom or take a shower uninterrupted.  Potty training.  Kids who didn't sleep through the night.  Dressing kids.  Changing kids.  Feeding kids.  Constantly monitoring kids.  Cleaning up all the messes.  Counting down the minutes until nap time or bed time where there might be the chance of some peace, some quiet, some alone time.  And did I mention the constant needs?

As my kids get older, I am seeing so many perks to this new stage of life that we are in.  I used to dread having to take 3 small kids anywhere by myself.  Now it's no big deal.  The kids may not always love having to trek to the orthodontist with Staley or go to the grocery store with me, but they can wait patiently or be helpful in whatever we need to do.   All the kids can get themselves ready for the day and get themselves ready for bed at night.  They can entertain themselves.  The girls can read to themselves and to Briggs when quiet time is needed.  They can do chores and help out around the house and clean up their own messes.  When we go on trips, they can pack their own bags and enjoy time in the car and act appropriately in restaurants.  There are so many things that are way easier now that the kids are a little older and more independent.

Valentine's Day was a prime example of how life has changed.  All 3 kids had Valentine's parties at school on Valentine's Day.  Briggs joined me at the girls' school in the morning to drop off treats for Staley's party and then attend Adelie's party.  He patiently hung out at the party, watched the games and activities without complaining, helped out when asked, and enjoyed treats only when offered.  The girls had early dismissal from school that day, so they then joined me at Briggs' Valentine's party at his pre-school in the afternoon.  Not only did they enjoy watching Briggs at his party, but they were also great helpers.  They helped clear the tables after the kids ate their snacks and they assisted the kids during the games.  As I sat back and watched all my kids throughout the day, I reflected on how things have changed.  Taking my small children to a fun activity that would not necessarily include them is something that I would have dreaded when they were younger.  But now?  It was a joy to watch my kids simply enjoy seeing their sibling celebrate without necessarily needing to join in.

Staley helping Briggs during Valentine bingo

Since Staley was helping Briggs, Adelie took it upon herself to help some of Briggs' classmates.

There are those moments that I miss things about those younger years with my babies and toddlers.  But there are so many things to enjoy about the ages my kids are right now.  I am so glad we had our special years where I got to spend lots of time at home with my littles, but I am so glad that we are now in this new stage of life.  There were many things to love about then, but there are oh so many great things about right now.  And so I am trying to just enjoy the now...because our now is pretty great.

Where Did We Go Wrong?

For the most part, I think our kids are growing up to be good, kind, happy, well-adjusted kids.  However, they all have had (or have) random fears that leave us scratching our heads and wondering where we went wrong.  It's been well documented that Briggs has had his fair share of fears:  wind, umbrellas, eating outside, fireworks, bugs, storms, movies, bad guys, any number of shows/rides at Disney World.  Many of these have improved with age and he has shown vast improvement in most of these areas.  However he has one lingering head scratcher:  Briggs gets very upset if someone else's nose is running and they don't blow it.  Like full fledged melt down if Adelie has snot dribbling out of her nose and she doesn't blow it as soon as Briggs asks her to.  Screaming, crying, throwing himself down tantrum about someone else's nose running.  Really?!

Although Adelie has often been my more adventurous and least cautious child, she has recently developed some very random and unfounded fears.  She has become pre-occupied with the thought of things breaking or falling over.  Not small things, mind you.  Things like our swingset or the bunkbeds or the porch swing or the couch or the house.  For a short period last summer, she would refuse to go in the backyard if kids were on the swing set or would freak out if I was swinging on the porch swing.  I'm not sure where these fears originated, but they leave me scratching my head when I have to assure Adelie (for the hundredth time) that our house will not now or ever break.

As Staley has gotten older, she has moved past many of her early fears.  Her early sensitivities with clothing and loud noises and "scary" parts of movies are now primarily a thing of the past.  Her still baffling emotional break downs with movie credits seem to have passed.  And although she still prefers to know what is going to happen and gets overwhelmed in new, busy, or chaotic environments, Staley is able to handle most situations without overly emotional responses.

The other day, Adelie was asking me about our house breaking and how many elephants it would take to break our house.  After I explained AGAIN that our house is very strong and very sturdy and even big animals wouldn't break our house, Briggs and I had this conversation:

Briggs:  "It's kind of weird that Adelie is scared of our house breaking, huh?"
Me:  "It's not any weirder than you freaking out when people don't blow their noses.  Why does that bother you so much?"
Briggs:  (with a shrug) "I don't know.  I guess it's just how God made me."

I used to wonder about these random fears and sensitivities.  I scratched my head and wondered where these fears originated.  I worried about where we went wrong as parents.  But now I know...it's just how God made them.  And I couldn't love them more...random fears and all. 

Mom of the Year?

It's Valentine's Day. Most school days my kids fend for themselves for breakfast before school with our go-to breakfast staples of cereal, yogurt, frozen waffles, fruit, or instant oatmeal.  Today I set my alarm for BEFORE the kids were up (instead of just using them as my alarm) and tossed some pop and bake cinnamon rolls in the oven so that they could wake up to the inviting aroma of a warm, unhealthy breakfast.  Unroll them to look like a heart, whip up a red berry smoothie, and voila. It's a Valentine's Day festive breakfast extravaganza!  At least compared to a bowl of dried cereal and a cutie orange.  Guess there is something to be said for setting the bar pretty low.

Nonetheless, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today.

Happy Valentine's Day!

From my little loves!

Question of the Day

Which of these do you think is the root cause of Adelie's current illness?

1.  The fact that, just 2 days ago, someone asked if we had been avoiding all the sickness that has been going around and I answered, "Yes!  We have stayed surprisingly healthy this winter."

2.  How just recently Adelie was talking about not missing any days of school so far this year and her excitement about potentially getting a perfect attendance trophy at the end of the year.

3.  My putting off various errands that I should have done over the weekend, planning to just get them done today while the kids were in school.

4.  Germs.

It's hard to truly pinpoint the root cause, but I think all are viable options.

On the plus side, Adelie is already setting a new record for reading minutes for this week.

Question of the Day

Does this seemingly endless winter weather and day after day of being stuck inside have you climbing the walls?

Yeah.  Us too.

When I Grow Up...

The other day, Adelie asked, "Is there a job where I can stay home and read books all day and get paid a lot of money?  If there is, that's what I want to be when I grow up."

Me too, Adelie.  Me too.