Things I Haven't Done...

Our quarantine has surpassed a month now.  In this past month, I have done way more cooking and meal preparation. We run the dishwasher almost every day.  Our quantity of books read, family games played, and homework completed have far surpassed any previous records we might have set.  But there are some things that I have not done, not even once, during this past month.

I have not worn jeans.  I have worn yoga pants, scrubs, running tights, and sweat pants, but never jeans.

I have not done my hair.  I have washed it.  Thrown it in a ponytail.  Put it up in a headband.  But I have not once thought to plug in any type of hair appliance.

I have not gone to Target.  It almost never happens that I go a month between trips to Target.  I've ordered some on-line necessities, but have not set foot in a Target store.

I have not had anyone other than my immediate family inside my house.  We've had people stop by for short outdoor visits, but no one has ventured inside our house in over a month.

I have not had to take the kids anywhere.  No appointments.  No activities.  No playdates.  No haircuts.  No place at all that my kids have to be.

In the same way, I have not had to take the kids on any errands.  With Zach working from home, all grocery store trips or other errands have been solo excursions.

I have not woken up the kids.  With nowhere to be and nothing on the schedule, there is no need to wake the kids up by any certain time.  Sometimes they are up around 7.  Sometimes they sleep until 9.  It doesn't matter.

I have not cried.  I have laughed.  I have yelled.  I have felt peace.  I have felt sadness.  I have felt frustration.  I have felt love.  I have felt grief.  I have felt relief.   I have experienced all the feels...but I have not cried.

This is a time in life like no other.  There are many things that I have done for the first time, like completed school at home on a daily basis with my kids.  There are many things I am doing more of, like hiking with my family and going on bike rides and playing family games.  And then there are those things that I am not doing. I don't know when life with return to normal.  I don't know if life will return to the normal that we once knew.  I don't know what the next month, 3 months, 6 months will look like.  All I know is that, right now, life is different.  And in this different time, I am just doing the best I can...while wearing my yoga pants and headbands.