Struggles

Briggs is my dichotomous little boy.  He can be so sweet and fun.  He loves to cuddle, hold my hand, help around the house, and play together.  He plays so nicely with his friends and his sisters.  He has a great memory and is so smart and observant.  I love his smile and his enthusiasm about spending time together.  I love how Briggs gets excited about practicing his reading or doing his Kindergarten work or helping around the house.  I love his pride about matching his own outfit or learning how to fold his socks or using his tools to help Daddy.  He can truly be such a joy to be around.

Briggs helping Daddy hang a mirror

On the other side of that coin, however, is my sweet, fun, cute little guy who struggles with regulating his emotions and controlling his temper.  Briggs is so sweet and fun and cute until something doesn't go his way.  He then immediately shifts into crying, yelling, screaming, slamming doors, and hurling insults.  And although his insult of choice is to call someone "Rudey" or "Rudey-pants" (which is pretty cute in itself) and he likes to yell "that's so boring" or "it's the boringest" about things he doesn't like, the fact is that we are trying to figure out how to help him respond better in these situations.  He can switch almost instantly from having so much fun doing something to stomping and slamming doors when there is a request that he doesn't like.  He can fall apart instantaneously about being left upstairs by himself or Adelie not wanting to play with him or having to go pick up his sisters from an activity or someone not doing what he wants them to do when he wants them to do it.  He can shift so quickly from one extreme to another that it can be almost comical...if it wasn't so frustrating.

Briggs has also been struggling with some fears and anxieties.  He continues to have fears about storms and strong winds.  He does not like to be on a floor of the house all by himself, even if it is just running upstairs to get socks or getting a train he wants from the basement.  He is a stickler about wearing his mask when he is supposed to, and I often have to tell him that it's okay to take it off when I pick him up from school or we leave an indoor facility.  After the first day of school, he told me that he wore his mask the whole time at recess because his friends were close to him.  I had to tell him that it is okay to take his mask off when he is outside at recess.  Briggs is very safety conscious and asks lots of questions about whether or not something is safe.  He obsessively washes his hands.  He is always asking things like, "I just touched my sock.  Do I need to wash my hands?"  Or "My hand touched the top of the toilet.  Do I need to wash my hands?"  He is my first child that I have to direct to not wash his hands...and sometimes he can't help himself and has to do it anyway.  It pains me to see him struggle with some of these fears and anxieties.  I know some of it is the product of our world right now and some of it is born from my focus on health and safety.  I know some of it is probably just part of his personality.  What I don't know is how to help him make wise and safe choices without having to go to the extremes.

Briggs has always struggled with some of these things, but the frequency and intensity seems to ebb and flow.  The past month or two has definitely been more of an ebb...or a flow?  Whichever one means it has been worse is what I want to convey.  I don't know if it has been the impending return to school and the start of Kindergarten that has heightened his difficulties or just the five months of primarily being at home or the various changes and anxieties that have been surrounding this time in life, but it has been a struggle for both Briggs and the rest of the family dealing with his outbursts.  I know that these childhood phases come and go.  We are trying to help Briggs find better to ways to respond to disappointments and fears while also praying that this phase goes away...and soon.