Show Her What It Means to be Loved

There is a song on the radio.  It's about parents who find out that their unborn daughter may not live long.  The doctor asks what they want to do and the chorus is:

I want to give her the world.
I want to hold her hand.
I want to be her mom for as long as I can.
I want to live every moment until that day comes.
I want to show her what it means to be loved.

I don't generally cry, but this song makes me cry every time I hear it.  This chorus is my anthem.  That is what my prayer is as a mother.  I want to give Staley the world.  I want to hold her hand, being there to walk beside her through the joys (and, unfortunately, the sorrows) that she will experience.  I want to be the best mom I can be for as long as Staley and I have together on this earth.  I want to cherish each and every moment that I have with Staley.  I could never have imagined the strength of the love that a mother feels for her child until Staley was in my life.  I don't expect Staley to truly understand the depth of my love for her, just as I couldn't fathom how much my mother loves me until I had Staley.  But as best as I know how, I want to show Staley how much she means to me, how she has changed my life, how I would do anything for her.  I want to show her what it means to be loved.

Pool Party

Staley's inflatable infant pool shaped like a whale was the best $5 we've ever spent!  Staley loves playing and splashing in the water, and I love having an excuse to take pictures of my adorable baby in her super-cute swimsuit and sun hat.

Staley's First 4th of July

The sun was shining, the weather was perfect, and Zach's whole family was together for the day.  What could make the 4th of July any better?  Staley LOVED the parade, watching wide-eyed as each float drove past.  Several of the floats were even giggle-worthy and she didn't seem at all concerned about the loud fire truck sirens.  Although Staley didn't get to enjoy the yummy BBQ food, she definitely enjoyed the attention from her aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.  And even without the fireworks (that she missed out on due to bedtime and bugs), Staley soaked up the excitement of her first 4th of July.

Getting festive with Daddy

Spending time with Zach's cousin, Emma

Staley with Olivia, Cade, and Lila

Happy 4th of July

Rock and Roll Baby

Zach always calls Staley his 'rock and roll baby' because of her love of music.  She will rock out to the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Janis Joplin, and Elmore James.  (Of course, to be fair, she also enjoys bluegrass, country, classical, hip hop, and 'The Hamster Dance Song.')  But, thanks to the wonderful world of baby hair, Staley can sport an edgy rock and roll look to go along with her musical taste.

Staley was born with a head full of soft, dark baby hair.  She kept it for a few months and I thought she would be one of the lucky ones who didn't lose her hair in early infancy.  Well, I was partly right.  She didn't lose any of the hair on top of her head.  Unfortunately, she did lose most of the hair along the sides of her head.  Lucky for my cute baby girl, she can rock a mohawk with the best of them!

Our adorable little rock and roll baby

Retraction

I do not want to preemptively retract my post from yesterday.  However, last night before bed, Staley and I had a heart-to-heart about her recent bedtime behavior.  I did most of the talking, but Staley appeared to be listening intently...although she did get a bit distracted when trying to play with my necklace.  Nevertheless, she apparently took our discussion seriously because she went to bed without a fuss and slept 10 hours straight, waking me up with her happy coos and squeals at 8:00 this morning.  Well done, Staley.  Well done!!

Frustrated...and Tired

It's hard for me to write this post now (with my adorable baby napping sweetly after I've enjoyed her smiles and coos all morning) with the same frustration I was feeling at 9:30 last night...or 1:30 a.m....or 6:30 a.m.  Staley is smart...and we love that she is smart.  We just don't want her to use her intelligence against us.  And that is exactly what she is doing.

Staley has been waking more at night (those darned teeth), but we've been quicker to comfort her and feed her in the night as:
 1.) We do not want her to wake her grandparents (with whom we are STILL living)
and
 2.) Her pack and play is right next to our bed, making it more difficult not to intervene. 

Well, Staley has now figured out that crying at night = attention.  Staley used to go to bed without so much as a whimper.  If she would wake up in the night, she would fuss for a bit and then put herself back to sleep.  Over the past week or so, Staley has put up more of fight about going to bed and about soothing herself back to sleep.  Even with a full belly and tired eyes, she will start to cry even before her body hits the pack and play.  We generally let her fuss for a bit until her fussing escalates into "I'm-being-tortured" screams.  The first few times, I thought there must be something wrong.  Maybe her teeth really hurt.  Maybe she's too cold.  Maybe she's too hot.  Maybe her diaper is full.  I think something must be bothering her...until I lift her out of the bed and she immediately stops crying.  Put her in bed.  Scream.  Take her out.  Quiet.  It would almost be a funny game if it wasn't happening when all I want to do is go back to sleep.  This is obviously a bad habit that we need to address, but it seems that we will have to give in to her for a few more nights (as we have a tentative return home date of Tuesday).  So, for the time being, I'll just have to remain frustrated...and tired!