It's amazing the little things that our kids do that reflect what they see in us. That phrase you don't realize you use so often. Facial expressions, hand gestures, body movements, personality quirks. Our children absorb all these little parts of us, and then we see them coming back to us from these tiny little packages.
Staley is no exception. There are so many things she says and does that mirror what she sees and hears from us every day. Some of these things are really cute, like the other night when Zach gave her a drink of water and she responded, "Thanks, man!" Or when she tells Adelie, "You are something else!" But lately I've been seeing some of my tendencies come out of Staley in a way that makes me rethink things a little bit.
I am not a neurotic neat freak. But I am organized. I make the girls clean up before we move on to another play area. I often vacuum after dinner, do the dishes after meals, and make sure all the toys are put away before bedtime. And I like to keep our clothes stain-free. To that end, I will sometimes have Staley wear a bib or change out of a nice white dress/shirt if we're sitting down to a messy meal. If the girls spill blackberry jam or tomato sauce on an outfit, I will often have them change so I can spray it/wash it before the stain sets. We still paint. We dig in the dirt and jump in puddles. I just want to preserve clothing as best as we can.
Lately, however, Staley has become very concerned about staining. As we sit down to a meal, Staley will often ask "Does this stain?" She has occasionally passed on favorite foods (like skipping jam on her roll or ketchup with her nuggets) if she's wearing a white shirt or a favorite outfit. If she spills a little something on her shirt, she will often ask for a Shout wipe right away to get it clean. I want to keep her clothes looking nice, but not at the expense of my daughter not enjoying her meals or her activities for fear that something won't come out in the wash.
In the same way, cleaning has always been something that Staley likes to do with me. I used to think she just liked doing 'big girl' activities, but now I realize that she might be a little bothered by messes (kind of like her mama). At her second birthday party, we did an activity where the kids had to find objects hidden in buckets of rice. When finished with the game, Staley noticed all the rice on the floor and rushed off to get her little broom so she could sweep it up. After meals, she often gets her little broom to sweep up the crumbs under her chair. Helping me cook usually results in Staley doing the dishes and sweeping/mopping the floor when we're done. If something rips, Staley is quick to bring it to me so it can be taped back together. Cleanliness and orderliness seem to be finding their way into Staley.
Learning some of these skills early isn't all bad. Picking up, helping with chores, eating neatly. These are all things that I want my girls to learn how to do. However, I don't want learning these skills to be accompanied by anxiety. I want them to enjoy the mess and chaos that comes with being a kid. I didn't think I'd made a big deal about stains and messes and cleaning, but obviously enough to have made an impression on Staley. So I need to rethink my approach, change my response, and shift my focus. I want my children to enjoy a happy, messy, carefree childhood...and not end up in therapy because of an irrational fear of 'the stain.'
Adelie and Staley's World
Monday, April 14, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Here?
Spring MIGHT finally be here. We've had more than a few nice days recently. We've done outside activities, gone on several walks, and noticed that the college baseball season is underway. I packed away the winter coats, and we are all even wearing short sleeved shirts today. I'm not busting out the shorts and flip-flops yet, but I think we're on our way. I sure hope so!
Planting flowers
Finding outside things to climb on
Playground fun with Aunt Carrie
So excited that the carousel is open again at the zoo
Come on, spring. We're ready for you!!
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Why Proper Enunciation Helps
Staley: "I want to do fours."
Me: "Fours?"
Staley: "No. Fours. Like at our vacation house."
Me: "Floors?"
Staley: "No. Fours."
Me: "I'm not understanding what you are talking about. Can you describe it for me?"
Staley: "Well,...it's fours."
Me: "Is it a food? Is it something you play?"
Staley: "It's a food. Like at our vacation house."
Me: "Oh! S'mores!!"
Me: "Fours?"
Staley: "No. Fours. Like at our vacation house."
Me: "Floors?"
Staley: "No. Fours."
Me: "I'm not understanding what you are talking about. Can you describe it for me?"
Staley: "Well,...it's fours."
Me: "Is it a food? Is it something you play?"
Staley: "It's a food. Like at our vacation house."
Me: "Oh! S'mores!!"
Friday, April 4, 2014
What I Really Want to Do...
...is spend 3 hours at a doctor's appointment with my 1 year old and my 3 year old, said no one ever.
Adelie has had a blocked tear duct in her right eye since birth. We have been waiting for her to turn 1, hoping it would go away and knowing that if it didn't, she'd have to have surgery. It hasn't gone away, so today we went to the eye doctor for what I thought was going to be a quick, simple "yes, that's what it is" appointment and to schedule her surgery. Well, 3 hours, 4 examiners, and 1 doctor later we now know that Adelie has a blocked tear duct in her right eye and will need surgery.
I am not the world's most patient person. I know this about myself. I refuse to wait more than 30 minutes at a restaurant to be seated. If there is a long line at the check-out, I often decide that whatever I am buying can wait. Traffic jams are excruciating. And spending my whole morning in one waiting room after another after another...let's just say that I was as fussy and irritable as my tired, hungry, bored baby.
All things considered, my girls did great. I can't imagine having a very active toddler or a high maintenance infant and making it through a morning like this. Because my girls are generally easy, and by the end, we were all getting pretty antsy. We initially saw one examiner who did an exam and dilated Adelie's eyes. Then we waited for almost an hour (luckily they were playing 'Frozen' in this waiting room and there was a little chair that Adelie enjoyed climbing on and off) before being taken to another room where we saw 3 more individuals BEFORE the doctor ever came in. This little room did not have 'Frozen' or a little chair. It just had the minimal toys/snacks that we had packed, my phone, and lots of doctor equipment that I was trying to keep Adelie from playing with. Each time the door opened and someone other than the doctor came in, I had a hard time keeping the annoyance in my voice to a minimum. 3 times. 3 different people came in to do different things or ask different questions before the doctor FINALLY came in...and verified what we already knew (I know. I know. Proper procedures. Following protocols. Being thorough. All good things. But 3 hours for a 1 year old's appointment. Really??) And just when I thought it was over, we had to go to yet another waiting room to wait and meet with the surgery counselor and finally, the scheduler. When it was all said and done, we were 3 hours in, an hour past lunch, and ready for nap-time. The fact that we only had a few Adelie tears and a little Staley sassiness was pretty remarkable. I was proud of my girls...and myself. Because of the 3 of us, I might have been the closest to a melt-down.
Adelie has had a blocked tear duct in her right eye since birth. We have been waiting for her to turn 1, hoping it would go away and knowing that if it didn't, she'd have to have surgery. It hasn't gone away, so today we went to the eye doctor for what I thought was going to be a quick, simple "yes, that's what it is" appointment and to schedule her surgery. Well, 3 hours, 4 examiners, and 1 doctor later we now know that Adelie has a blocked tear duct in her right eye and will need surgery.
I am not the world's most patient person. I know this about myself. I refuse to wait more than 30 minutes at a restaurant to be seated. If there is a long line at the check-out, I often decide that whatever I am buying can wait. Traffic jams are excruciating. And spending my whole morning in one waiting room after another after another...let's just say that I was as fussy and irritable as my tired, hungry, bored baby.
All things considered, my girls did great. I can't imagine having a very active toddler or a high maintenance infant and making it through a morning like this. Because my girls are generally easy, and by the end, we were all getting pretty antsy. We initially saw one examiner who did an exam and dilated Adelie's eyes. Then we waited for almost an hour (luckily they were playing 'Frozen' in this waiting room and there was a little chair that Adelie enjoyed climbing on and off) before being taken to another room where we saw 3 more individuals BEFORE the doctor ever came in. This little room did not have 'Frozen' or a little chair. It just had the minimal toys/snacks that we had packed, my phone, and lots of doctor equipment that I was trying to keep Adelie from playing with. Each time the door opened and someone other than the doctor came in, I had a hard time keeping the annoyance in my voice to a minimum. 3 times. 3 different people came in to do different things or ask different questions before the doctor FINALLY came in...and verified what we already knew (I know. I know. Proper procedures. Following protocols. Being thorough. All good things. But 3 hours for a 1 year old's appointment. Really??) And just when I thought it was over, we had to go to yet another waiting room to wait and meet with the surgery counselor and finally, the scheduler. When it was all said and done, we were 3 hours in, an hour past lunch, and ready for nap-time. The fact that we only had a few Adelie tears and a little Staley sassiness was pretty remarkable. I was proud of my girls...and myself. Because of the 3 of us, I might have been the closest to a melt-down.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
In the Moment
I blog because I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget what my girls are like at any given time. I know I will remember vacations and the big firsts, but I don't want to forget the little things that make this moment in time so unique. I want to remember these little moments that fill my heart and make me smile.
Right now, I want to remember...
...how Staley puts one of her stuffed animals in Adelie's crib each night before bed, and always asks in the morning if she liked sleeping with it.
...how Adelie is understanding more and more, and smiles so huge when she correctly identifies her tummy and toes.
...how, after everyone was misunderstanding that her doll's name is Melody, Staley has been over-enunciating her 'L's and practicing with all the 'L' words she can think of.
...how Adelie loves to wash her hands, and starts to rub her hands together at the mention of hand washing.
...how Staley, who has always been more of a stuffed animal girl, has grown especially fond of her doll from Aunt Jan and Uncle Jack. She named her 'Melody' (after Ariel's daughter in Little Mermaid II), and Melody goes everywhere with us. Today Staley actually forgot Yellow Bear at home when she took Melody to her baby-sitters, and that made me a little sad.
...how Adelie is a little clown and loves to make us laugh. Staley finds Adelie so amusing, and Staley's laughter will keep Adelie spitting or putting DVDs on her head over and over and over again.
...how Staley is Ariel and I am Prince Eric and Zach is King Triton and Adelie is 'little Ariel' every. single. day.
...how Adelie's favorite thing to do is walk around holding something, and how she always finds the biggest book to carry around with her, throwing off her balance and making me worry that she's going to drop it on her toes.
...how Staley will name off a long list of random letters in a row (often all consonants) and then ask me what it spells.
...how Adelie always says 'awwww' when she gives me a hug, and how she will hug her dolls and stuffed animals in such a sweet way.
...how Staley is suddenly afraid of being in the tub when the water is draining, but always makes sure to get the bath toys and washcloths out too.
...how my girls can reach one another from their car seats now, and will hand toys back and forth or hold hands while we drive somewhere.
...how Adelie lights up when she sees her sister, and how Staley is so sweet to her baby sister.
...how these two girls fill my heart each and every day.
My days are full of these little moments-these little moments that make me smile. And I don't want to forget.
Right now, I want to remember...
...how Staley puts one of her stuffed animals in Adelie's crib each night before bed, and always asks in the morning if she liked sleeping with it.
...how Adelie is understanding more and more, and smiles so huge when she correctly identifies her tummy and toes.
...how, after everyone was misunderstanding that her doll's name is Melody, Staley has been over-enunciating her 'L's and practicing with all the 'L' words she can think of.
...how Adelie loves to wash her hands, and starts to rub her hands together at the mention of hand washing.
...how Staley, who has always been more of a stuffed animal girl, has grown especially fond of her doll from Aunt Jan and Uncle Jack. She named her 'Melody' (after Ariel's daughter in Little Mermaid II), and Melody goes everywhere with us. Today Staley actually forgot Yellow Bear at home when she took Melody to her baby-sitters, and that made me a little sad.
...how Adelie is a little clown and loves to make us laugh. Staley finds Adelie so amusing, and Staley's laughter will keep Adelie spitting or putting DVDs on her head over and over and over again.
...how Staley is Ariel and I am Prince Eric and Zach is King Triton and Adelie is 'little Ariel' every. single. day.
...how Adelie's favorite thing to do is walk around holding something, and how she always finds the biggest book to carry around with her, throwing off her balance and making me worry that she's going to drop it on her toes.
...how Staley will name off a long list of random letters in a row (often all consonants) and then ask me what it spells.
...how Adelie always says 'awwww' when she gives me a hug, and how she will hug her dolls and stuffed animals in such a sweet way.
...how Staley is suddenly afraid of being in the tub when the water is draining, but always makes sure to get the bath toys and washcloths out too.
...how my girls can reach one another from their car seats now, and will hand toys back and forth or hold hands while we drive somewhere.
...how Adelie lights up when she sees her sister, and how Staley is so sweet to her baby sister.
...how these two girls fill my heart each and every day.
My days are full of these little moments-these little moments that make me smile. And I don't want to forget.
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