I love my kids. I love my kids more than anything. And maybe I'm not supposed to admit this, but my kids also drive me crazy. Absolutely crazy. They make me tired. They make me frustrated. They push me to the brink. I lose my patience. I threaten things that I'll never follow through on, like canceling our trip to Disney or throwing away all their toys. I yell. Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom and pretend that I can't hear them crying and screaming and arguing right outside the door. Most of the time I can blog about the sweet and wonderful things my kids do or the fun times we have together or the amusing things they say or the joy that they bring to my life. All truth. But I also want this blog to honestly depict our life, and today I just need to blog about the things my kids do that drive me crazy.
Staley is growing up fast. She is so smart and sweet and independent and helpful. She has her big imagination and her big ideas. But she drives me crazy with her attitude, especially towards her little sister. Adelie ADORES Staley, and Staley knows it. She will generally only play with Adelie when it's on her terms. If Adelie does something really sweet, like color her a picture or give her something or share something, Staley will often brush it off or make a back-handed comment about it. If we compliment Adelie for something, Staley is usually there with a snide remark. I don't know why she treats her sister this way, but it's infuriating to me! Staley is also strong-minded and stubborn, and will bust out her attitude when she is made to do something she doesn't want to do or if others aren't doing things the way she wants. Sulking, pouting, refusing the participate, and being rude are all things I have little tolerance for. I love my eldest, but her attitude can make me crazy.
Adelie is my generous and loving girl. She is so sweet and funny and kind and sensitive. But she drives me crazy with her endless need to move and touch. I know all about sensory processing and have worked with so many kids with sensory processing difficulties. I fully understand that some of Adelie's sensory needs are met by hanging upside down and touching things and climbing on things and jumping off of things. In my mind, I know her body needs this input. My understanding of this doesn't always help in the moment when she's kicking me in the face as she's hanging upside down off the couch or when she's knocking the fluoride all over the floor because she can't keep still when I'm trying to brush her teeth. Adelie also pushes the boundaries. She is my child who will insist on doing it one more time after I've said stop or will deliberately do/say things she knows that she's not supposed to. She knows how to push her siblings' buttons too, and seems to get pleasure from doing it. She still cries easily over many things, including the many times she gets in trouble for the things I've mentioned above. I love my middle, but the tears, the boundary pushing, and the never-ending need for movement can make me crazy.
Briggs is still my baby. He's snuggly and sweet and adorable. But he drives me crazy with his short temper and even shorter patience. Briggs is in the throes of two. He can scream and cry and tantrum with the best of them. Unfortunately, these come on all too often because he has zero patience. If his needs or wants aren't met immediately when he requests them, he will scream, cry, throw himself on the floor, and hit. Constant requests these days are "carry me", "play trains/cars and trucks with me", and "blow on my food." Of course, there are many other demands and requests throughout the day as well. If these requests aren't met immediately or if he's told no, then let the fall-out ensue. It's highly unpleasant. I love my baby, but the lack of patience and the tantrums can make me crazy.
I love my kids. But there are days that they just drive me crazy. I know that many of these things are phases that they will outgrow or characteristics that we are working on changing, and that gives me hope. Until then, I'll just take a deep breath, say another prayer, and lock myself in the bathroom from time to time.
