Bedtime is not the best time of the day for Briggs. I had hoped that turning 4 might have marked a turning point for Briggs's bedtime behaviors, but alas that change did not magically occur.
Briggs is a creature of habit. (Hand socks, anyone?) With his sensitivities and anxieties, he likes to know what to expect and he likes things to stay the same. Unfortunately, his bedtime habits have been staying the same...and the same is not good. Every night, Briggs complains that he doesn't want to sleep. Every night we have to go through the same routine where Briggs tells me, "Good night. I love you. I don't want sleep. Will you check on me when you go to bed?" Every. single. night. Multiple times. Every night we put Briggs to bed and he lasts about 30 seconds before he's out of bed, telling us again that he doesn't want to sleep or double checking that I'm going to check on him when I go to bed or telling me he loves me...and then asking to be tucked back in. Over. And over. And over again. Sometimes it's only 2-3 times. Last night it was about 15 times in the 30 minutes it took until he finally fell asleep.
I feel like we've tried everything to get him to stay in bed. We had resumed naps when the school year started, but officially ended them again a few months ago. This has helped as he is now falling asleep earlier so we aren't dealing with these bedtime behaviors until 9:30 or 10:00 at night like we were when he was napping. We've tried positive reinforcement through words of praise and encouragement. We've tried bribery through promises of special treats. We've tried negative reinforcement with loss of toys or activities when getting out of bed. We've tried reasoning with him. We've tried getting upset with him. We've tried refusing to tuck him back in and insisting he do it himself. And then we've tried ignoring the massive and never-ending tantrum that occurs when he will not get back into bed without someone taking him. Obviously nothing has worked on a consistent basis or I wouldn't be writing this post.
To go along with the difficulty in getting Briggs to stay in bed at bedtime, he also still wakes up in the middle of the night more often than not. This usually just entails taking him to the bathroom and tucking him back in bed, but sometimes (like last night) he resorts to some of his bedtime behaviors. At 4:00 this morning, we tucked Briggs back into his bed about 6 times before he finally stayed.
I know that different childhood phases come and go. I often remind myself that as my kids are going through their various difficult phases. I worry, though, that Briggs will hold onto his phases longer just because of who he is and how he craves consistency. (Hand socks, anyone??) I feel like this poor bedtime behavior phase has already gone on too long. We've already determined that the light at the end of the tunnel is not the new nightlight, perfectly executed not-too-big and not-too-small crack when shutting the bedroom door, ideal blanket tuck, or soothing lullabye. It's not having everything he could possibly need (drink, Kleenex, lotion, chapstick) right next to his bed within easy reach. It's not a consistent nightly bedtime routine. I'm not sure what the turning point will be, but there is one thing that has changed. Now Briggs and I both kind of dread his bedtime every night.
