Back in March, the world shut down. Although there was so much uncertainty during that time, there was a sense of optimism. Communities were banding together. Families were spending more time together. Front line service employees were being celebrated. People were learning new hobbies, completing house projects, connecting in new ways, trying new things. In the midst of the unknown, there was hope.
Six months later, I am just tired. Where communities were once banding together, there is now division at every turn. Instead of hearts and bear hunts and feel good news channels, there are riots and looting and violence. There are passionate opposing viewpoints on everything from the reality of the virus to masks to politics to schools re-opening to social justice to vaccines to professional sports. I am tired of hearing about the division. I am tired of all the heaviness in the country...with sickness...with division...with economic struggles...with collapsing industries. I am tired of trying to make decisions, knowing that there is no "right" decision during this time. I am tired of questioning the decisions we make and thinking about the decisions we still have to make and wondering about the implications of the decisions we are making on our kids and our family. I am tired of trying to explain to my kids why we are making the decisions we are making when I don't have certainty about them. I am tired of not going places. I am tired of limiting our social circle. I am tired of life not being normal and not knowing when or if it ever will be. I am just tired.
In the midst of my tired, however, I am learning from my kids. Learning about resiliency. Learning about joy in the midst of sorrow. Learning about adaptability. Learning about living the life that we are given. They wear their masks without a second thought. Handwashing and sanitizing are second nature. They play together day after day without complaining. They love our open week-ends. They find new projects to keep them busy. They don't complain about things we are not doing. They don't dwell on activities that were cancelled or things that they have missed. The things that we filled our time with...activities and trips and outings and gatherings and restaurants and parties...are obviously dispensable. My kids have embraced our new lifestyle without these things and adapted to this slower-paced, family-centered, home-based life we are now living. Although I am experiencing fatigue during this current season, my kids continue to show me that there is joy to be found in every season.
