Truth

Both of my younger two children are scared to go to a different floor of our house by themselves.  That means that when they have to use the bathroom before going anywhere, for instance EVERY SINGLE DAY for school, they fight about who is using the main floor restroom or who isn't giving who privacy or who can't brush their teeth because someone is in the bathroom.  (Did I mention we have THREE bathrooms?)  It's exhausting.  I'm torn between putting an out of order sign on the main floor bathroom so they are forced to face their fears or just adding a port-a-potty to the living room to stop the fighting.  You know a mom is tired when an in-house porta potty is starting to seem like a viable option.  *sigh

Micro-Vacation

I know travel is a privilege and not a necessity.  However, as we sink further into this home-based pandemic life, I am realizing that travel might actually be a necessity for me.  Not a life-sustaining necessity, obviously, but a mental health necessity.  I have found myself sinking into the doldrums of this seemingly endless, cold, gray Illinois winter.  The extreme cold, the days on end at home, the regret of cancelled trips, and the uncertainty of future trips has me feeling blue.  Feeling trapped.  Feeling impatient, disgruntled, unmotivated, tired, sad.  It's not a good look on me.  

Trip planning is one of my favorite activities.  I love the planning.  I love the anticipation.  I love visiting favorite places and finding new places to visit.  When there is not a trip to plan or when there is an uncertainty about our plans, my entire outlook changes.  Instead of planning, I just look listlessly at Disney wait times or vacation homes or lists of the best vacation destinations.  I feel uncertain about what to plan or when to plan or how to plan.  I waffle and waver and second-guess and question.  The uncertainty leaves me feeling anxious and unsettled.  

I planned a little mini-vacation to St. Louis for this past week-end.  I had found a ski resort that offered snow tubing, a little adventure I thought my family would like.  As reservations for available times were scarce and the cancellation policy lenient, I snatched some up a few weeks ago, but our trip remained uncertain.  We were trying to work around Staley's volleyball scrimmage (as she has very few practices/games this year).  I kept watching the weather and wavered on whether or not we should do an overnight or just a day trip.  I am typically a full-speed ahead vacation planner, so uncertainty and anxiety are not my typical.  I'm coming to realize that, for full vacation appreciation, I need to just make decisions and stick to them.

On Saturday morning, I FINALLY decided that maybe we should go ahead and stay overnight.  In the course of a few hours I booked a hotel, got the kids packed up, borrowed an air mattress, gave Zach a list of things to do, coached some volleyball, and then we hit the road around 3:30.  We listened to 'The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane' on the way to St. Louis with a quick pit-stop for some Subway sandwiches in the car for dinner.  We got to our hotel, checked in, and settled into our room.  I was a bit disgruntled as I had made reservations for us to swim in the pool upon arriving, only to discover that the 'limited capacity' for the pool still involved up to 20 people in a very small pool/hot tub area.  We chose to forego our swimming time due to the number of people in the pool area.  Although slightly disappointed, the kids were just as excited that we let them watch a few episodes of some shows on Disney, Jr. before bedtime.

In the morning, we enjoyed the free carry-out breakfast from our hotel and donned our snow gear for a morning on the slopes.  None of us were certain how snow tubing would go, but it ended up being a success!  We were some of the first visitors in the first time slot of the day, so our initial pass down the unsledded hills was super-fast.  Adelie was in tears, not sure if she even wanted to go again.  Thankfully she chose to try again and each subsequent trip was a little less fast, but still fun.

Ready to tube!  You can see the tubing hill in the background.

You were allowed to hold onto one other tube so 2 tubers could go down the hill together.  Adelie and Briggs both wanted to go down with Zach and I for their first 3 times down, but by the 4th time they both went by themselves.

The kids all got the hang of keeping their balance while riding up the conveyer belt to the top of the hill as well.  Staley could even do it while holding her own tube.

In our 2 hours of tubing, we were able to go down 6 times.  The weather was really pleasant, getting up to 50 degrees with sunshine.  We were overdressed, especially when you factor in dragging tubes up the hill to the conveyer, holding them on the conveyor, and then dragging them to the starting area.  We were all sweating by the time we were done.

Our hotel redeemed itself when they allowed us a late check-out AND included a private swim in the pool.

Since the weather was still in the 40's, we then enjoyed a few hours at the St. Louis zoo.  Some of the animals were off-exhibit and most of the special offerings were closed, but we got to enjoy a mostly empty zoo.  We experienced up-close encounters with the polar bear, penguins, and hippos.  We saw some active red pandas, swimming sea lions, pacing cheetahs, and got to see the two grizzly bear cubs wrestling with each other.  A dinner of Culver's in the car while watching Tangled made for a quick drive home to end our trip.

Although there was some uncertainty about our plans, I'm so glad we were able to get away for our 24 hours of family fun.  It wasn't a true vacation, but it was just the micro-vacation we needed.

Virtues

The other day we told the kids we could watch a family movie together after we finished a few jobs around the house.  The kids finished their chores quickly and then were waiting for Zach and I to finish ours.  As I was working on completing my jobs, Adelie came in and asked, "Are you almost done with your jobs so we can watch our movie?"  I replied, "If you want me to be done more quickly, you could offer to help with some of my jobs."  Adelie responded, "That's okay.  I can wait."

Patience is a virtue.  So is helpfulness.  I guess Adelie thought it was an either/or proposition.

Valentine's Day

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.  I told Zach that all I wanted for Valentine's Day was for him to clean up his office and unclog the upstairs sink drain.  Not only did he oblige, he also cleaned out his dresser and even picked out a few things to get rid of.  Chocolates and flowers are nice, but a clean office, a smooth drain, and drawers that close?  Now that's love.  Happy Valentine's Day!

Honesty

The other night at dinner, the kids had this conversation:

Adelie:  "Mom, why is your hair curly?"
Staley:  "I wouldn't call it curly.  I think it's more frizzy."
Briggs:  "Does frizzy mean messy?  Because it's kind of messy."

There is nothing like the honesty of children to keep you humble.

He Says...

The other day Briggs asked me, "Do you have to be married to have a baby?"  I just replied with "usually."  Then Briggs asked, "So is it just the love that makes the baby come out?"  

My sweet baby boy...made by the love.

2021

 Adelie brought home a school project she made about 2021.  She had to finish the sentence:  "My 2021 is going to be..."  I can think of so many ways I would have finished that sentence.  "Better than 2020."  "Getting back to normal."  "Filled with all the things cancelled in 2020."  "A year of traveling and events and being with people."  I would have focused on my hopes for a return to normal life after the year that 2020 was.  Adelie's answer, though, gave me pause.  She said, "My 2021 is going to be full of running and kindness and hope and sweets and love."  Those are all things we need in life.  Those are all things that kept our 2020 manageable and things we can easily achieve in all circumstances.  My list would have focused on things outside of my control.  Adelie's list was all things within her control.

What a lesson for me.  I struggle because I focus on things that I cannot control.  I mourn the circumstances and am sad because of what isn't.  I need to learn from Adelie and focus on those things that I can control.  I can control how I view my circumstances.  I can control how I spread kindness and hope and love.  I can find joy in the small things like running and sweets.  And so, my 2021 is going to be...

...a learning, growing, humbling experience that will continue to shape me, mold me, and teach me that although I can't control the circumstances, I can control how I respond to them.  In all circumstances, I can respond with kindness and hope and love...and maybe some sweets too.